Homicidal Thought Moment # 1 – The Closed Rest Area

JACKSONVILLE -VIEW FROM THE WALKWAY BY THE TIMES-UNION CENTER

             As promised I will now share the meaning behind my reference to our “moments”.  These “Homicidal Thought Moments" are dedicated to and inspired by couples who have been married over fifty years.  Many times while watching TV I have heard a couple celebrating an anniversary of fifty or more years, when asked if they ever considered divorce reply “divorce never, but murder often”.  I love that line because when you love your spouse like I love Vince you never consider leaving, but there are times when taking him out seems like a pretty good idea.  So these moments are dedicated to those couples and hopefully are humorous stories that the rest of you relate to and enjoy.

The first of these thankfully only a few moments over the last two years occurred on our trip to Jacksonville during my first stint in the truck. The plan was to get to the Times-Union Center in Jacksonville  late in the evening and sleep outside the center since our call time was right in the middle of rush hour.  The last thing Vince wanted to deal with was rush hour traffic.  Having been a commuter for several years, I too knew that the last thing commuters in Jacksonville needed was a semi driver holding them up while he was backing into a dock.

            Before heading into Florida we had reviewed the map and determined that we would stop at the last rest area before Jacksonville. Since we wouldn’t have a bathroom available until call time in the morning, it was important especially for me that we stop one last time.  As we came upon what we thought to be the last rest area we learned that it was closed.  I looked at Vince and asked if that meant no potty break.  He simply replied “yeah”.  Well let me tell you, I went into full panic mode because I was a 47 year old woman and there was no way I was going to make it 10+ hours without a potty break.  I asked him what were we going to do and he stated he didn’t know. WHAT?  He didn’t know!  What did that mean?  I was having all kinds of homicidal thoughts right then, because the man I love and adore was telling me he didn’t have a plan.  He had been doing this for years, I was an amateur and most importantly the nonchalant way he just said he didn’t have a plan told me he did not understand the urgency of the situation.  

            Also, I couldn’t believe he had no ideas, after all it was his idea for me to join him on the road, didn’t he realize he would need options for me.  He had shared with me over the years how difficult it is for drivers especially when they have trailers to find parking.  So I knew just getting off at the next exit wasn’t an option.  It isn’t like when you are in a car and you go to the next exit to find a fast food restaurant that you can run into and quickly make a bathroom stop.  So he didn’t have any ideas, he better be kidding.

            As we arrived in Jacksonville, I was scoping every street for a fast food restaurant or a coffee shop. Surely there had to be one somewhere that was open at almost 11:00 pm on a Monday night.  Meanwhile, Vince and I exchanged casual conversation about the directions; after all I didn’t want to give away my plans for him if we don’t find a bathroom.  As we turned the corner that lead to the center, I saw a large chain upscale hotel right across the street from the dock area.  Life was good for my husband and he would get to live, because as I learned in my travels as a paralegal, hotels always have bathrooms readily available in the lobby.

            As soon as Vince got backed into the dock area, I took off my seat belt and grabbed my door latch.  Vince asked where we were going.  I said “to the bathroom”.  He looked at me like okay I don’t know where we are going, but God love him he does trust me, so he just followed my lead.  We headed into the hotel lobby and I didn’t even break stride as I found the ladies and mens rooms.  When we met back up, Vince commented he thought I had never been there before, because I walked straight to the bathrooms.  I told him I hadn’t, but shared with him that past experiences had served me well in evaluating the lobby and quickly recognizing the set up.  We headed back to the truck and fortunately for my husband, he didn’t have to sleep with one eye open that night.

            While for some of you this may seem trivial, let me assure you that your survival instincts really do come out when you don’t have the basics readily available to you.  Our other moments, one of which includes what I am pretty sure was Vince’s first moment are meant to show you that while most the time we honestly do get along, we do have our moments.  I think you will especially enjoy my favorite “the grease gun incident” which could have been a scene right out of comedy movie. I promise to get you caught up on these moments and other stories by the time I head back out with Vince in January so that hopefully our future tales will make perfect sense.

OUR TRUCK IN THE DOCK IN JACKSONVILLE

TIMES-UNION CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS